Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
