i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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