The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
