For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
