All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
