He is an equal opportunity slut.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
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Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Will exercising make me less horny?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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