Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
