i was born a porn star she said
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
