Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Randomize
