actually, I'm a sock model
It's like God shit irony all over that family
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
