we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
