i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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