I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
