my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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