My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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