No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize