Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
