so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
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