He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
