my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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