Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
