dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize