...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
