i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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