But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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