the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
