apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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