PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
