i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
