After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
