Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
What a dumb baby whore.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize