have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
