Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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