Can i not drive my cunt home
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
