You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
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It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Vodka?
Forever.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
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Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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