Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
