This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
