it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
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Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
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If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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