the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
