shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
