How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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