Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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