So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
