i don't like sucking hair
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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