I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
