You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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