Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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