I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
