But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
