i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
