You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
