i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
