I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
