Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
