Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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