I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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