1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
