Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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