im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
