sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
