Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
