i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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