The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
