Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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