You really coming over, don't trick.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
